Stay awake

Driving home after a particularly long and sleepless public-holiday call, I had a bad "moment". Don't know what the precipitant was, all I was trying to do was stay awake.

There wasn't any associated visual or audio flashback, just a sudden moment of... crushing sadness.

Catharsis :
Who moves on first, who forgets who first and finds happiness first... it's all moot; that's what happens when two lives diverge, right?

S, J's friend is wrong, as is J. It's not about "winning" at all... it's not really a game is it?

There were no winners between us; just two losers left to pick up the pieces on their own, left with their memories of a love that had once felt real.

I went for a haircut and remembered the last time I'd been there, remembered messaging her from time to time while my hair was being washed, then cut, then dried. Remembered meeting her afterwards when I was done.

And then I closed my aching eyes, while the lady was asking me if the water temperature was all right, and just thought : I so need a laugh.

I so need to laugh.

And then my phone rang - and it was MM.

"hello...?"

And then we laughed.