Playing with matches

I was driving her home.

"What kind of girl do you go for?"

"Well..."

Silence for a while. All the people who have come and gone, faces past and present flashed by in my head.

"...I just know it when I see it."

Sometime later.

"If MM wasn't attached I'd've have thought you two would make a pretty good match..."

I raised an eyebrow.

A good match? What's a match but a piece of wood with some sulphur on the end?

What's compatibility, what's suitability - what's anybility got to do with it?

All There is - just a feeling when you meet someone : right or wrong. Something present, versus something absent. Something elusive, something that feels precious - but really isn't.

And in the aftermath, a realization that that feeling has, to put it clinically, no bearing on the long term prognosis of how things will work out.

That feeling is purely subjective. That feeling that this is... something good.Is purely subjective.

And so often wrong.

*****
And so I'm here, trapped in hospital with nothing to drink but yakult.

I want to walk. To run.

To escape.