Saving Private Ryan

Been spending some time with a friend who was meant to get married last weekend, up until the moment he uncovered his fiancee's indiscretions just a fortnight previously, after she'd been acting strangely.

It made me sad to hear him telling me his story. He wasn't a blubbering mess, he's far too stoic for that. And perhaps that time had come and gone, now it was just dispassionate, non-linear thoughts that needed to be spoken.

"...in hindsight perhaps could have seen it... she didn't tell me things because she felt it wasn't necessary... it made me wonder..."

"...she said it wasn't planned..."

"...glad I found out now, and not after the wedding..."

"...her parents had..."

"...she'd been on the receiving end..."

"...i'm the sort of guy who, if I taste something bad, wouldn't want other people to suffer it..."

"...gave her space... trust"

"...I could have. I had opportunities to cheat too; there were many...But I didn't..."

"Why? Why would anyone do something like this to someone else?"

We're guys. We hold our drinks and don't look each other in the eye. Guys don't touch each other, or hug. We just bludgeon each other with thoughts, and words. That's male comfort.

I told him mine thoughts. I told him I empathized.

"These people are selfish; they don't think like us.... it boggles the mind, but awareness doesn't equate to morality; they know what's right and wrong... they just don't choose like us. It's not much comfort, but whatever tears are being shed now are being shed for her, not for you."

It pained me, to see this man - this good man brought to his knees for the simple crime of treating someone too well, giving too much, trusting too much. It pained me to know that the other protaganist in the story was sobbing her eyes out - not because of how great an injustice she had done him, but because she had lost something good from her life, and she knew it. She wanted him back, but Thank God he had enough common sense and fortitude to walk away.

******

The analogy holds true to a country as well. Agent J was half-kidding during the election runup that the people and government were very much akin to spurned lovers. The people were accusing the Powers of not loving them anymore, of cheating on them. The Powers were responding with defiance, denial and anger instead of contrition. They were driving the people further away.

Then there was an abrupt U turn - which the Powers are becoming so prone to as time passes, and suddenly the tears had dried up -- all those tears in the runup so at odds with the words being spoken denying all culpability -- suddenly the tears had dried up but the words had changed. Sorry seems to be the hardest word?

Why are the people so upset? Perhaps precisely because they (Powers) don't tell us things they don't think are relevant to us... a maid is murdered in a watertank and the immediate response is to conceal the truth for 24 hours, ("maintenance works!") while people haplessly go on drinking the water, because a bit of maintenance can't possibly be bad for them...

... I think those people would have a very good case for a lawsuit.

Precisely because we have given them - or rather, been taught to, been conditioned to give them all our trust. We work to support the country, and government - exactly like in a relationship. Yet now the people are beginning to feel that trust has been violated. Perhaps as truths of our slightly foggy past begin to emerge, perhaps as the pieces fall into place and the youth begin to find out just why the world calls us a police state -- perhaps that trust will seem to have been violated more and more. The problem with truth is that it always comes out in the end.

Perhaps they're just disaffected. And yes, the disaffected are dangerous; the last thing we need is anarchy and the government is right to fear that.

This isn't a good place we're in now.

And I blame myopia. The government of old that we're all falling over ourselves to heap praise on for steering us out of the dark ages - they created this situation. Deliberately. Perhaps they didn't bank on fear dissipating with increasing ignorance. Perhaps they didn't take into consideration how much people want the truth, or how much they want for the collective, that they are willing to risk sacrifices. Perhaps they didn't count on people being nationalistic, and caring for the country.

But this is where we're at now. Let's not mince words. There was no clear mandate. There was a borderline victory across the board. And next time there is a real risk of everything being lost.

Let's stop pretending the people vociferously stamped their approval on the PAP. 60something percent majority when considering the trends of the past - think of it in terms of rugby. It's losing ground. Slowly but surely.

Change is needed to combat this. Very real change - deliberate, careful change that undoes the mistakes of the past without undoing the bootlaces of the country. Change that involves humility, and heartfelt apologies from those still around, and those exiting stage left, yet strength and resolve to keep moving forwards.

Courage is needed, to pardon those who have been wronged, and to undo the tweaks to the judiciary and elective processes that damage the country - that damage this country's international standing.

We want a first world country, not a first world government. We need salaries revised, not reviewed.

And yes, I appreciate that these things must come slowly, because otherwise too much face is lost, and the public may swing the wrong way. Governing a country is not easy.

But they must come, at the end of the day.

Or else all that happens is a breakup, and everything that was once special, and personal between parties becomes lost in the past, and irrelevant tomorrow. That's the way relationships go.

And tomorrow the people will have found a new partner - one that they are good with, that is good with them; that treats them with the respect they demand, that they can, in turn, respect.