Sempre Fidelis

This isn't a boast, just a ramble.

Through this last relationship I have learnt a lot about my own kind.

The medical circle in S'land ... somebody has to say this... It's deplorably unethical.

Just the other day, one of the regs was commenting how disturbed he was by the lack of ethics as practiced here. (foreign trained too)
This is the kind of hush hush thing that is only said in private. Saying it in public like this is virtual career suicide, but since nobody reads my blog anyway, what the hey.

In my hospital (let's call it Old Chang Kee) it's a known fact that the doctors sleep around, with the product reps, with other doctors, with nurses, with physios, and most anything that wears a skirt, except perhaps clinic assistants. I postulate that clinic assistants skirts are not conducive to quickies.

Of course everyone here is whiter than white, so you can only hear all this on very exclusive grapevines. It's a bit like going satellite tv, or digital radio. Everyone else around you is stuck on regular viewing, which only shows PG.

When you're hearing it from the horse's mouth, it becomes that much more real. Hard evidence, ahaha.

There're other forms of para-ethical dilemmas of course, like mowing through patient queues for doctor's relatives (sometimes at the expense of patient safety) or politicians and their relatives. All the kettles of fish Oriental societies brew, because we respect face, power and position above all else, and all others. It's institutionalized, and it's not relevant to this article, so... skip.

You can see how it happens, doctors here routinely marry other doctors (early, too) and wind up with vastly contrasting schedules, never really meeting up with your spouse, young beautiful product / device reps and... the nurses (i have no idea what the appeal of these are, shrug. high hemlines??) all around you. one thing leads to the other... etc.

Or perhaps the wifey is always at home taking care of baby, and again the medicine man is surrounded by sweet, young, attentive women who flash their pearlie whites at them and engage their eyes, with whatever bits of their anatomy they commonly employ.

And then there are the floundering marriages - perhaps the wifey is too demanding, too argumentative, or perhaps the husband is starting to grey, or perhaps starting to cheat himself, or there's this hot young guy at work, and nobody will ever know if we bang each other...

So you meet up with her, and she looks you in the eye, and you meet up for dinner, and then drinks, and then one thing leads to another...

Or perhaps you eye each other at different desks in clinic, and when the doors are closed hands reach for one another...

I can see how it all happens, now that I know where to look. It's a bit like looking for a ghost in a window, in those horror movies. Blink, and you've missed it.

Back in the UK, it was much healthier, really. Everyone bonked everyone after going to the pub, and everyone else knew precisely what had happened the next day, and everybody would have a laugh.

Down here its all very cloak and dagger. Very reputation ruining to be caught, high stakes, high risk. And once in a while heads of departments are caught with their cigars out and their pants down. laugh.

Whilst I can understand it all, I don't condone it.
Maybe I'm just a prude.

But if you're really committed to someone (and isn't marriage the ultimate committment? aside from work. hah.) even if she's turning into somewhat less than angelina jolie...... you made the choice when you married her. through thick and thin, sickness and in health.
If some sexy slinky sweet young thing lands in front of your desk giving you an inviting view down her cleavage... then keep the door open, and your hands where everyone including the nurses can see them.

If marriage is turning into a routine, find something novel to do with the other half, that excites both of you. Perhaps a holiday somewhere exotic, perhaps... s&m. shrug.

If you don't want to cheat on your spouse, don't go out one on one with anyone tasty at work, period.

It's really all about minimizing risk, and preventing scenarios of tempation from arising in the first place.

Because, really, once you're both taking off each other's underwear in some dark, private hole somewhere, it's rather too late to stop.

But that's where my argument breaks down.

The truth is that people here may not confess to it, but they do want to cheat. As long as they don't get caught.

I've never been married, but I do tend to enter serious relationships. I've never cheated. Not because I am pristine, but because I steer clear of uncapped soy sauce bottles.